"When Injuries to the Brain Tear at Hearts"

Dear caregivers, family and friends,

I wanted to post a link to an article from the New York Times before it gets archived. A friend emailed me the article and thought it might be something to share on this caregiver page.  I agree.

The article is very moving, and for those of us living with spouses who are not quite who they were before, it can be heart wrenching.  And heart breaking. And sometimes there are positive changes and outcomes.

I don't know who out there will understand this,  but sometimes either an illness that was untreated gets diagnosed and treated after a brain injury, or substance abuse or other problems might interfere with a person's ability to deal with life.

When a person suffers a brain injury, a whole team gets involved, medically, physically and neurologically.  The New York Times article is about one couple and how they have managed to come from the beginning of their injury to the present. 

In our life, Bill suffered from Major Depression, and this was undiagnosed to the extent of how it was affecting his life.  His son came to me one day and told me things about his Dad's days at home I did not know.  Bill would sleep all day, and when I called he said he was working or redoing a job in the basement, looking for work online, various tasks.  His son told him to stop lying to me.  I was grateful for him for doing this and for letting me know what he would see when I was at work.

Bill had been given a medication that was doubled, because it was not working.  He had an adverse reaction to the larger amount. So instead of making him sleep, which he was trying to avoid, the medication threw him into agitation. His blood pressure rose and he had his first stroke.

Together his son and I tried to get Bill the help he needed for this, but it was beyond us.  The physicians assistant who was prescribing drugs he did not have any business prescribing, made his depression worse instead of better. 

Currently Bill is receiving treatment for the depression now, along with care for the deficits caused by the brain injury, including the seizure disorder that was a result of the first stroke.  He is a cheerful pleasant guy, loved by just about everyone who meets him.  He works hard at recovery and I am very proud of his hard work.  

I, on the other hand, am his advocate, and sometimes that does not make me very popular with the system.  It isn't a popularity contest, it's a way of life. Navigating chronic care that is cumulative is tough work. Effectiveness is the goal.


Bill tells me he has the easy job...sit back and let you take care of me.  He's right.  That is easier. But I know the pain in his heart behind those words.  So daily, sometimes an hour at a time, we move forward rebuilding out life and trying to find happiness in a confusing world we never asked for.

I hope you will read the article linked above, if you are ready, and know that there is life after brain injury.   One line really stood out to me: "...the reality of pain, and letting go of the past." A tall order but the only way through it.  

Today is the sixth anniversary of learning to live with brain injury.  I am happy that we have been given that chance. I am grateful we have survived so much of it. We don't know what is ahead, but day by day we will continue on the journey of living with brain injury together.  The link seems to be causing people to be kicked off the page, but I would suggest going to the New York Times, and searching for the title of the article, when injuries to the brain tear at hearts.  Thanks, and sorry for the confusion. I hope the link below will work.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/10/health/when-injuries-to-the-brain-tear-at-hearts.html?pagewanted=all